I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.