1. Know yourself. For starters, be brutally honest with yourself and answer the following questions. I’m not kidding about the brutal part. Sugarcoating will not help you here.

2. Love yourself. Okay, so this sounds like the greatest cliché known to man, but it’s actually the basic ingredient for good non-monogamy.

3. Be happy ALONE. Yes, that’s right. Alone. All alone. No partner.

4. Communicate. Honestly. Now comes the time where you take all that brutal honesty with yourself, and translate it into brutal honesty with your partner(s).

5. Know what you want. Here’s another list of questions for ya.

6. Go for content, not form.

7. Be nice. Polyamory is not about the technicalities. It’s the spirit, not the letter of the law that counts.

8. Have safer sex. This doesn’t just mean use a condom.

9. Be strong. Make no mistake about it: choosing a polyamorous relationship style is a radical thing.

10. Go with the flow. In other words, don’t go out looking for anything.