I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.

Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't

If your name was homework, i'de be doing you on my desk right now

Anyone can quit smoking, it takes a real man to fight cancer

The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Tennis is a fickle sport. No matter how good you are at it, a wall will always be better.

"Practise makes perfect"...but no one's perfect, so why practise?