Witty Quotes Haven: All Witty Sayings

House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

You can't be late until you show up.