These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually
appeared in church bulletins or were announced in
church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance
to get rid of those things not worth keeping around
the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about
you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way
again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know
it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that
began in their school days.