He got a thousand of the government’s best and brightest (995 lawyers and politicians and five engineers) to design a car fit for the needs of the twenty-first century while including forward-thinking sensibilities. This new car is called the B-ROC and it is truly the Obama of automobiles. Here are some preliminary features:

The B-ROC will be efficiently sized so as to be no bigger than needed to transport a driver, his or her life partner, one optional child, and three bags of groceries of average weight

The B-ROC will boast a reasonable, fuel-efficient acceleration of zero to sixty in twenty seconds

this is based on a theoretical model capable of reaching a speed of sixty miles per hour

The B-ROC will be able to maintain a speed of almost fifteen times the average human walking speed. That’s faster than most land animals and still relatively safe

Rest assured you’ll be noticed driving the new B-ROC, as it will be colored bright orange for high visibility to pedestrians and wildlife