When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The church office will be closed until opening. It will remain closed after opening. It will reopen Monday.

Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.

Sermon Blooper: "Let everything that hath breasts praise the Lord!"

For those who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery downstairs.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a great chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They maybe seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge----Up Yours."

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Bulletin of a church with a rather elderly congregation: "Mr Brookes will be in the church foyer at the end of today's service. Transport can be provided if required."

Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.

Church sign: The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.