clipped from: newsweek.washingtonpost.com   

Actually, it seems to be forgotten that Jesus once ran for President, and the result was a fiasco. Since the first plank of his platform was "Love your enemies," he had no choice but to seek the nomination of both parties at the same time, promising to merge the two into one. Republicans and Democrats were brought up short by the idea. Jesus called it a win-win situation for them, given the enormous savings in campaign costs. Pollsters were bothered by Jesus's claim that he knew how the election would turn out in advance. It seems that his Father, who has a finger in everything, had tipped him off.


As it turns out, Jesus's other planks caused even more problems on the bumpy road to the nomination. The second one was "Money is at the root of all evil." This forced his campaign to refuse contributions from lobbyists and special interest groups.