NASHUA, N.H. -- Here's how I, as a professional journalist, roll on the New Hampshire Campaign Trail. First I get into my rental car with my official reporter notebook and a minimum of four bags of Cheez-Its. Then I drive until the Cheez-Its run out (about two miles). Then I look for a school or college that has the following features:

• 800,000 candidate signs stuck into giant mounds of snow.

• Nowhere legal to park because all of the legal parking spaces have been occupied by giant mounds of snow since October.

• A demonstrator dressed as Frosty the Snowman to express concern about global warming.

These features indicate that there is a presidential campaign event going on. So I park illegally, brush off the Cheez-It dust and go inside, where I join the crowd of New Hampshire voters standing around listening to classic rock songs from the '60s and early '70s (required by federal election law) while we wait for the candidate to arrive and tell us that he or she is in favor of Change.